Whew. Girls...

Man...Fatherhood. I know most of y'all have children or grandchildren and have dealt with all sorts of...well, drama. This morning my oldest(9) was backtalking her mother for the second day in a row and, after a week of poor attitude. Not really sure what the issue is but she and her sisters, as they tried to hold their own version of MMA yesterday, were warned that this was the final warning-period. Well, this morning it started again and I came down pretty hard on her, including a swat to the backside. Now, what's funny about swatting the kids is this-it is really no harder than when we are wrestling around on the floor or rough housing. They love it and squeal in delight when the get the opportunity to "ambush" Daddy and get the best of him. But the oldest...She is the sensitive one. I gave her the speech again and delivered the punishment. It was not fun. I actually had to go back to my room and gather myself and contain the tears that were welling up in me. It is true. It actually does hurt me more than it's gonna' hurt you.

She took it hard and was pretty upset. Tears, swollen, puffy eyes-the whole works. She finished getting ready and took her book bag to the car and was riding her scooter around the driveway. Trying to gather herself. She had already stated she was not hungry and left her breakfast on the table. I warmed her sausage and biscuit up and carried it outside to her and sat it down on her wagon. I told her she needed to eat something and that I loved her no matter what she thought at that moment in time. After the axe falls, I always try to make them understand that I do truly love them and have only their best interest in mind. Well behaved, Godly, intelligent girls. That's all I ask for. I will hug them while doing so and kiss their little heads, sometimes because the are doing the stiff-as-a-board, no hug-back, I don't like you right now thing. But, sometimes they look up through the tears and give me the ol', "I'm sorry, Daddy-I love you" and it almost breaks my heart to know that I caused this heartache they are experiencing.

So...I hope I can survive the next few years. I remember never really being an emotional person, pretty much all the way through college. I didn't cry at movies or funerals or the such. Passionate maybe, but never emotional. Stoic, I guess you'd say. I softened a little after marriage but I have to say though; these three little fairies hold my heart in their hands. I'd gladly step in front of the proverbial train to save them if need be. I hope they realize that. I just may be in trouble if they ever figure out to use their powers against me, though. Oh well. Dear Lord, just help me through...

Y'all have a good 'un. And make sure to hug and kiss the little ones tonight.