Football(?) Season

What in the hell is going on in the NCAA? All the usual big names are getting the monkey guts kicked out of them, and the little guys are stomping mud puddles through them. Since when did you ever reallllllly pay attention to Southern Fla., Arkansas St. (Hurricanes? How much coastline is there in Arkansas anyway?) and little 'ole Appy State. You know what, good for them! It makes those dyed in the wool fans stand up and pay attention. And pisses them off a little too! Oh well, gotta go watch Michigan get their brains knocked out. P.S. Now all those women with cell phones really have something to talk about when they pull in front of you or in your lane.......or swerve to hit you.............or plain run you down.

It's all down hill

I know, I know. I haven't blathered about anything since February, and since this is my "therapeutic diversion", I reckon I ought yack about something. Well' I guess I can say that I recently turned 35. Holy Shit. Where has time gone? I distinctly remember just waiting until I turned 21 so I could go out and legally get sloshed at my favorite college waterholes. If you'd told me then that I'd have a wife, three kids, a mortgage, 1 car payment, 2(3 really)jobs, and huge amounts of responsibility I would have probably spit up my 32 ouncer of beer up all over some nice person's shoes. Now...don't get me wrong. I love my family and life more than most, I'm sure of that. It's just that...it's not something that you think about while laying out your best smack to some little coed at 2am. "Wife and kids" were words used by the guys I worked with that to be quite honest, went right through the side hole in my head and out the other. Now I stand around and laugh with co workers about how my middle child likes to whoop up on the oldest, or what type of Barbie game I'm to be included in tomorrow night after work. It is funny though, when you realize that you're growing up. I remember thinking that I was beginning to tire of living in a college town, and wanted someone around to love on full time. That is when I was lucky enough to find my dear wife. It was sort of an epiphany. What's worse is that now when she and I are lucky enough to get away from Daddy's little heathens, to a party or such, we're pooped by midnight and are ready to go home. The evening will probably end with a kiss, hug and a "love you" followed shortly thereafter with snoring. Now 10 years ago, the same evening would have ended with the two of us going at each other like drunk monkeys in heat. Ain't it a damn crying shame that youth is wasted on the young and dumb. Oh well....there is the rant for today. Oh yeah..............Thank God that the iphone is out now so that women in large SUVs will have something else to divide their attention. That way they can use the touch screen to call or text for help when they wrap their vehicle around a tree as it rests upon some poor guy in a wheel chair.

Lawsuits-YAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Why is everyone suing everyone? There seems to be a lawsuit every 1.23422 seconds. I can't take it anymore. The city, county, state, country, and world has gone apeshit. That's all I have to say about that. Oh yeah.... women, cell phones, SUVs...scourge of the earth.

'Tis the Season

Well it's been a while. Truthfully, I just haven't had anything to rant about lately. I guess working all the time is enough to wear the fuss right out of you. Ah hell, I'll give it a whirl. This damn hot weather is sucking the Christmas right out of me. It may also be age. I remember when this time of year held the wonder of Ralphie and his Red Ryder BB gun. Although I do enjoy watching my young daughters with their presents from Santa, it just ain't the same. I guess you can never really go back to that time when you stayed awake practically the whole night on Christmas eve, just waiting to see your presents. What about the excitement of seeing your Mom open that 2$ bottle of perfume or your Dad unwrap a screwdriver you bought at the hardware store. Even brothers and sisters seem to have some sentiment towards each other as they'd celebrate a holiday truce. It's funny. When you get married you judge your holidays against the ones you had as a kid and they just don't seem quite right. Not bad, just not quite there. Do all adults and parents feel like this? I reckon that's the big question, huh? Well, it's time to go fetch some batteries and assemble a 1,987 piece toy with Chinese instructions. I hope the ladies in the SUVs don't get heavy into the eggnog and plow Santa while jabbering on a cellphone.

Fall is coming, hear the birds?

Well, here we are again. Fall is growing near and the familiar sounds of the season start rushing back. The cockled call of the loud mouth , sap sucker UT fan; the ear piercing and droning tone of the crimson nosed UA fan; and we can't forget the repetetive warbling chant of the chuckle headed Florida fan. As you may gather, I hold a special place in my heart for these fair weather ya-yas who run their cake holes incessantly during the season. When they win, their team is the best product that money and steroids can buy. When they lose, God forbid, the coach sucks, his wife is a skank, the mascot should be shot, the players put on the rack, the cheerleaders sent to a bordello, and the guy that cuts the grass should be run over with his own mower. Oh yeah, it's a building year too. Sound familiar? I wish these fans would just go with it and enjoy the Fall and ball season for what it is. It is a time to have fun and tailgate with the boys. Enjoy the only time of year when it is socially acceptable, and an obligation, to drink beer before 10 am. The smell of brats and burgers burning on a $10 grill you bought at the convenience store. These are all good things. They should be relished. Instead, there is always some loudmouth sack of crap, pulling for a school that he or she didn't even have the grades to get into. Oh well, those of us who can take a ball game for what it is will drink one for those of you, who will next week be red faced and screaming with a coronary over the fact that the QB's stats are 3 yards off of last year's matchup. We will also be avoiding the moms driving monster SUVs and talking on cell phones while we try to cross the street. GO TEAM!